How Alice ended up with her awesome spikey hair
by speakingwordsofwisdom
Summary: Hopefully it makes you laugh : The books explanation of how Alice just kept her asylum hairstyle is boring. Heres a better one hopefully


**Rated: k+**

**Alice is bored. I'm bored. I wish I could freak people out as easily.**

**This story is all happening cos of my brother, Brett, who gave me the idea, so thank youu!!! Virtual cookies to the first reviewer, as usual :)**

* * *

_Omigod, life is so boring! How can I have lived for nearly a hundred years and not even known that life can be so boring? How do they survive it??_

"Hey, what's up?" Edward appeared in the doorway of the living room, and grinned when he saw Alice lying stretched out dramatically in the middle of the floor.

"Edward-"

"Yeah?"

"Why did no one warn me earlier that it's possible to be this bored? It's only-" she checked her watch "- half four, it's not gonna be dark for HOURS, and I'm practically dead as it is..."

She tilted her head back to get Edwards reaction. He wasn't even taking her seriously, he didn't even look as if he was LISTENING to her... didn't he care that she was about to become the first vampire to die to die of boredom, on the newly vacumed oriental rug no less, and all before she'd even worn in her new Prada heels properly?

Well that was just insensitive.

"Alice, you know you're totally over-reacting aren't you?!

Over reacting? WHAT? She'd show him over reacting...

"Okayyy, I guess you're right. Hey, I left one of your DVDS at Bella's house. I hope that's ok?"

"Yeah, of course, which one?"

Ha. In for the kill, or however that phase went anyway.

"Oh, I don't remember the name..." _I was SO not over reacting._ "...you know, I never knew Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens made such a cute couple... You wrote your name on it so big, i'm sure she'll remember to bring it back..."

_Wow, I didn't know it was possible for a vampire to go any paler..._

"WHAT?!!"

_Is he running that fast because he needs to deny his man-crush on Zac Efron, or because he wants to get his DVD back?_

_Wow. Freaking people out is fun...._

*

"Hello?"

"Hey, Bella, it's Alice!"

"Hey, what's up?"

"Oh, nothing much... I was just wondering...Bella, how much do you like Jacob?"

"Um...a lot, I guess? He's my best friend..."

"So you wouldn't mind if I asked him out? Cos I think he's kinda hot..."

"WHAT?!?"

"Okay, I have to go now. Love ya!"

_Good times... Maybe I should REALLY ask Jacob out...THAT would be fun... But it might just push Bella over the edge. Well, next time, maybe..._

_*_

"Jaz, I have to tell you something..."

"Uh...huh..."

"It's something important..."

"Right..."

Jasper barely looked up from the tv screen, humming along to the theme tune under his breath.

"I'll be there for youuuu..."

Alice shook her head in disbelief. Why, why was he so obsessed with this dumb tv show? It wasn't even so interesting, and in the early episodes, the characters clothes were just painful to see...

"I was having a drag race with Rosalie and Emmett...and I crashed your car..."

"Uh...huh..."

"Um...into a zoo..."

"Kay..."

"And um...they're sending you a bill for ten thousand dollars...."

"Sure..."

" All the pandas escaped."

"Right..."

_He's not even listening! And I'm supposed to be his girl friend! _

"Jaz?"

"Yeah?"

"Ross cheats on Rachel at the end of this episode."

"OMIGOD! NOOO!!"

_Yeah. I didn't want it to come to that, but I had no choice...._

_*_

"Emmett?"

"That's my name..."

"Whatever. Do you know why we really had to move away from Alaska?"

"What? How come?"

Alice leant in close. "Rosalie took one of the babies home from Carlisle's hospital. The parents thought it'd been abducted... Jasper and Edward had to pin her down to make her give it up...She was going to name it Eric."

"WHAT?!?"

"I know"

"Why the HELL would she call it Eric!?!?"

*

"Rose?"

"Mmmm?"

"I told Emmett about Eric..."

"ALICE CULLEN, I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!!!"

_Whatever._

"AND I'M GOING TO TELL CARLISLE YOU TAPED OVER JOAN OF ARCADIA!!!!"

_Oh crap._

_*_

If it hadn't been for the fact that everyone in the room was a vampire, the living would have been the very picture of normal family life.

"So what did everyone do today?" Esme asked her family, all of whom shot evil looks at Alice, who smiled sweetly. She wasn't quite done yet.

"Well... I'm thinking of joining the Volturi...."

"That's nice, sweetheart."

_I know that's like the standard mom-type response to this stuff, but god! Is a little surprise too much to ask?_

"Yeah... And I'm failing in maths..."

Esme shrugged her shoulders. "Well you've taken at least fifty years worth of senior year maths classes, honey. It's not like you're really affecting your future..."

_Omigod... She could at least pretend to freak out!_

_*_

Twenty minutes later...

"ALICE CULLEN, WHAT ON EARTH HAS HAPPENED TO YOUR HAIR???"

Alice leant casually in the doorway, and smoothed her newer and spikier hairstyle.

"Do you like it?"

"NO I DO NOT LIKE IT AND YOU HAD BETTER HOPE IT GROWS OUT FAST!" Esme paused. "AND I KNOW IT'S NOT EXACTLY ACCURATE, BUT WAIT TIL YOUR FATHER GETS HOME!"

"Omigod!" Alice burst out "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT, ESME!"

"HOW IS IT MY FAULT?"

"IF YOU HAD JUST FREAKED OUT LIKE THIS THE FIRST TIME, THEN I WOULDN'T HAVE HAD TO DO THIS TO FREAK YOU OUT, AND NOW I'M STUCK WITH WEIRD HAIR TIL IT GROWS OUT!"

"Alice"

"WHAT, Edward??"

"lol"

Did you like it? Review and let me know, please!

BTW: The views expressed in this story in no way represent those of the author. She maintains that: High School Musical sucks, FRIENDS is the greatest tv show that ever has been or ever will be, and Alice's hair looks awesome.

But it IS true that Jacob is kinda hot.

xxx


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